April 1st
by breatheactsing123
Summary: A Jdox story. Slightly AU. I could leave this as a one-shot or I could continue it. Let me know if you'd like to see more in a review!
1. Chapter 1

I have to say, while things could be going better, my life was pretty good right now. Sure, the whole "unrequited love" thing was kind of a bummer, but I was kicking ass as a doctor, and today was April 1st. I should be nervous, but I was confident and excited. You see, I'd applied for a few fellowships starting in November, and April 1st was the day I'd receive note of my acceptance or rejection from these programs. I guess in a way it was bittersweet. But Turk and Carla were getting married, and it was time for me to grow up too. At least that was the reason I kept telling myself.

From the moment I walked into the hospital that morning, everything was a whirlwind. Before I had even found a chance to change into my scrubs I had to bring back a guy who coded in the ER. Once I was actually able to get changed, Dr. Cox whisked me away from all the action in the ER in a hurry. He let out his signature sharp whistle, and my head whipped around to face him.

"Come on, Molly, you're rounding with me this morning."

"Yes, Dr. Cox," I answered, lengthening my strides to catch up with him.

"You seem to have an extra bit of pep in your step this morning, Courtney. Did the big football star finally ask you to the junior prom?"

I chuckled a little bit, picturing Cox in full football gear and me as his cheerleader on the side of the field. He scores the winning touchdown, the rushes to the side of the field where I'm standing. He takes off his helmet and leans in for a-

"Hello, Natasha! I haven't got all day. What with all the, you know, sick people here."

"Sorry Dr. Cox. It's just that it's April first. I find out if I made my fellowships today."

At this, Cox's face seemed to turn to stone. I was almost sure it had until he turned to me. For once, he didn't yell, and I almost wish that he had. I didn't care about the yelling. This scary whispering thing was as intimidating as all hell.

"Impossible." He snarled. "I never wrote you a recommendation."

"Uh, yes you did." I told him matter of factly. "Carla got you really drunk and then begged you to do it for me."

"Damn you, Larissa!" He took a deep breath. "You know what, newbie? Congrats on getting yourself out of this hellhole. C'mon, we've got patients."

If I'm being honest, it stung a little that Cox didn't seem to care that I was planning on leaving, but then again, he was the person I was trying to get away from. Well, not him exactly. Just my feelings for him.

"Alright then, Newbie, this is Theresa May, she's 36 and she has been experiencing cramps, abdominal bleeding, appetite loss, and fatigue. She doesn't have an ulcer, irritable bowel syndrome, or IBD, and she isn't pregnant. Do you have any brilliant ideas, Claire?"

"Can I see her scans?" The younger doctor asked. Cox handed him the chart. "Well she doesn't have Crohns..." He muttered.

"Yes Felicity, we could play this game of 'what doesn't she have?' All day. But sweetheart, the game that we're _actually_ playing is called 'Let's correctly diagnose this patient so they don't have to continue living in pain!' Do you understand that, Melissa?"

"Yes, Dr. Cox."

"Page me if, and only if, you are able to diagnose Ms. May." And with that, he was off.

Maybe it should have emasculated me that Dr. Cox had called me sweetheart, but honestly it just gave me butterflies that I attempted to tame with a ginger ale from the vending machine. After rounding on my patients, I decided to go introduce myself to Cox's patient, get a sense of how she was feeling. I consulted my chart to find her room number, 311, and headed up, narrowly avoiding the janitor as I stepped into the elevator. When the lift dinged for the 3rd floor, I stepped out and turned right. Knocking, I entered the room.

"Ms. May?" I said as I entered. I found her propped up in bed, flipping through a magazine passively. She put it down as soon as she realized I was in the room. "Hi, I'm Dr. Dorian," I smiled, shaking her hand. "I'll be assisting Dr. Cox on your case."

"Oh..." She said, sounding surprised. Confused, I asked her a question.

"Is that alright?"

"Oh yes, absolutely," she backtracked graciously. "It's just that Dr. Cox mentioned a doctor by the name of Nancy." I couldn't help but laugh a little at that.

"Sorry for the confusion Ms. May. Dr. Cox likes to call me girl's names to break my spirit." This got her to laugh at least.

"Please, call me Theresa."

"Alright Theresa. You rest up. I'll be back as soon as I've found a diagnosis."

"Thank you, doctor."

"Just doing my job." I said, hanging her chart as I left the room.

Although I hadn't made a plan for what to do when I left the room, the grumbling in my stomach made a decision for me. Checking my watch, I realized I'd be right on time to eat with Turk and Carla. Catching the elevator again, I headed to the cafeteria and picked up my regular "busy day" lunch: Ham and Cheese on rye, salt and vinegar potato chips, and a vitamin water. Spotting the happy couple, I plopped my tray down in front of Turk.

"Hey V-Bear, are you nervous?" Turk asked me.

"Nervous about what, Bambi?" Carla asked, confused.

"Today's the day I find out if I got my fellowships," I explained to Carla. "I'm feeling pretty okay about the whole thing. It's out of my hands at this point anyway. " I explained further.

"Good for you for being so calm about it, Bambi." She said, rubbing my arm comfortingly.

"Hey, Carla, while I have you here, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, shoot."

"It's about this patient, Theresa May-"

"Isn't she such a sweetheart! Cox has had her in here for the past 3 days." Carla interrupted me.

"Wait, she's been here 3 days?" I ask.

"Yes," Carla said slowly, trying to figure out where my head was at.

"Cox just gave me her case today. Which means that he doesn't know what's wrong with her and he trusts me to figure it out!" My heart swelled. Perry trusted me. He thought I was a good doctor. Wow. Carla spoke again, pulling me out of my reverie.

"Turk, honey are you feeling okay? You're awful quiet."

"Yeah baby, I'm okay. It's just the Mexican food I ate."

"Turk, we had pasta for dinner."

"Oh, I know. At 3AM I drove to Taco Bell but by the time I got home I was too tired to eat it. So I left it on the counter and had it for breakfast this morning.

"Nice!" I said, raising my hand for a high five as Carla displayed her disgust. My chocolate bear hit me back with a high five worthy of Todd's palm.

"Oh no," Turk said, his face turning to sheer terror."

"What's wrong?" Carla asked, turning to look at him, but he was already gone.

"Bathroom." I explained.

"Oh," she said, then chuckling a little. "Glad I don't have to clean that up."

"Oh my gosh, Carla!"

"What?"

"I know what's wrong with Theresa May!" I say, bolting out of the cafeteria. I think she calls after me, but I don't care. I diagnosed a patient that Dr. Cox couldn't. I rush back to Theresa's room to confirm my diagnosis. When I get there, I'm glad to see she's finished her lunch and is flicking through TV channels.

"Crazily enough," she says as I walk in, "there aren't a ton of great shows on at 1:30PM on a Tuesday."

"Crazy, I know. Theresa, can I ask you a couple questions that might help me make a diagnosis?"

"Yes, absolutely. I mean, that's kind of why I came here."

"Great, thanks." I said, sitting down. "I'm sorry, because I know this is terribly uncomfortable, but how have your bowel movements been?" I ask.

"Frequent and awful. And I've tried _everything_ to get it back to normal."

"Have you lost any weight without trying recently?"

"Yes actually, about 7 pounds."

"Thanks, Theresa. I'll be back as soon as possible." As I shut her door, I can't help but do a little victory dance. I can't celebrate too soon, however. I have to find Dr. Cox. I first check the nurse's station, but there's no sight of him there.

"Laverne, do you happen to know where Dr. Cox is?"

"A few minutes ago he told me he was headed to radiology," she told me.

"Great, thanks!" I call over my shoulder as I rush over there before he can leave and send me on a goose chase to find him. Once I see him at radiology I stop running, attempting to remain cool. I walk up to him, and blurt out "ulcerative colitis!" before my brain can tell me not to. Well, so much for keeping my cool.

"What was that, Regina?" He asked, looking at the labs he'd just received.

"Theresa has ulcerative colitis." I repeated, showing him the updated chart.

"Huh. Good catch, newbie. Start her on sulfapyridine, I'll write her script later. They need you in the ER after you're done with that. Massive pile up on the freeway this morning." He said, already focusing back on his chart.

Admittedly, I thought this moment would be a bit sweeter. Although Dr Cox _did_ actually compliment me without a hint of sarcasm, dismissive as the compliment may be. I walked back up to Theresa May's room and explained her condition to her. She was considerably more grateful than Cox had been, which felt nice. However, there wasn't much time to bask in that adoration before I was paged to the ER, where I ended up staying until 11:30, long after most other doctors had left.

I walked up to the attending's lounge, which I expect to be empty. I slink into a chair before I realize that Dr. Cox is also at the table, nursing a black coffee.

"You on call tonight?" I ask.

"No, Amanda, I just thought I'd stay here for the kicks."

"That was a kind of weak retort," I say blandly, exhausted from my long day.

"Not that I care, but what's the matter with you? Did all of your fellowships reject you due to your inherent incompetence?" He asked.

"Oh my god, my fellowships, I totally forgot!" I exclaimed, whipping out my phone to check my email. 32 new messages. Great. I quickly erase the emails from pottery barn, Filene's basement, 7-11, and my Starbucks rewards, in order to just see my fellowships. "Mercy West, accepted. Oregon state, denied. Wisconsin pediatrics, accepted, Beth Israel, accepted, Holy Cross, accepted." I pause for a moment. The last one on my list was Mass General, the best hospital in the country. It was on the east coast, in Boston, but I couldn't _not_ apply. "Mass General... Accepted! I got accepted to the best hospital in the country!" I was so amazed that I couldn't take my gaze away from my phone.

"Of course you did, newbie. You're a great doctor."

Had I been in a normal state of mind, that sentence from that doctor might have knocked me unconscious. "Thank you, doctor. I can't believe it, I got accepted."

"Look, JD. don't go to Boston."

I was shocked. Why didn't he want me to go to Boston? Also, did he just use my actual name?

"Why?" I turn to look at him, and suddenly he's standing a lot closer than he was a few minutes ago. Before I can even register what's going on, his hands are on either side of my head pulling me into a passionate, mind blowing kiss. Too soon, however, he pulls away.

"Does that answer your question?"


	2. Chapter 2

"Uh… yeah." I answered, not moving anything but my lips. God, I must look so stupid.

"Golly gee Christina, don't you just look so darn cute when you're nervous."

Well, cute and nervous were better than stupid, I guess. Do something, say something. The love of my life just kissed me and I'm standing here starstruck.

"Well, Kathryn, are you frozen right there or did you want to come back to my place?" Dr. Cox whispered in my ear, sending a chill down my spine. He grabbed my hand, rubbing his thumb over the back of it as he waited for an answer. I swallowed, unable to look up at him or will my voice to mutter out any syllable. Dr. Cox could sense my nervousness, and tugged at my palm lightly. "C'mon, Newbie. Let's get out of here." He dropped my hand, and I missed the contact almost instantly. He opened the door and I followed him out of the hospital, which was thankfully almost empty now that it was past midnight.

"Dr. Cox, wait." I said quietly, and he turned to look at me, concern etched across his face. "Aren't you on-call tonight?" I asked meekly.

He seemed to let out a deep breath. "No, Jennifer. I was waiting to hear about your fellowships. Mickhead is on call."

Thanking God for Mickhead, I followed Dr. Cox to his car. We were mostly wordless until he got downtown, and I spoke up again.

"What about Jack?"

"He's with Jordan tonight." Dr. Cox told me. He and Jordan had always kind of confused me. They got along well enough, in their own weird way, but had decided to stay separated as much as possible apart from co-parenting.

Dr. Cox pulled his car into the parking lot I recognized from coming to his apartment a couple times. I followed Cox into the building, admittedly still in a bit of a daze. He tapped his foot impatiently as we waited for the elevator, not even waiting for the door to open all the way before he stepped in. I followed suit, and he pressed his button quickly, then moving to hold the door close button with his thumb. As soon as we were concealed, he turned and his hands were on me again, in my hair, and his mouth was on mine. Somehow more prepared this time, I kissed back with equal vigor, though I had no clue what to do with my hands. My mentor tugged at the hem of my shirt and I lifted my arms up, allowing him to remove it. Just as he did this, the elevator door opened, and we quickly stepped into his unlocked apartment. I shut the door behind me. Dr Cox hadn't turned any lights on, so the room was dark aside from the orange glow streaming in from the windows cast by the streetlights. I realized that Dr Cox is still holding my shirt, and he starts kissing me again. I allow myself to become comfortable now. My knees buckle a little bit, and I lean into him.

"Newbie," he whispers breathily into my ear. "You don't have to want this. We can stop right here and pretend like none of this ever happened."

I was shocked. In what dimension of the universe would I ever want this to stop? "You can't get rid of me that easy," I whisper in his ear before kissing his neck. I swore I almost saw him smile. I help him remove his shirt, revealing the ripped abdomen he works so hard to maintain. I look down at his stomach, then back up at him.

"Should we continue this in my bedroom?" He asked me.

"Yes," I breathe out, managing to nod as he pulls me towards his suite.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning I woke up to an empty bed and the smell of coffee wafting into the room. A moment or two after opening my eyes, I realized that this wasn't my room, and I jumped a little bit. Then I remembered the whirlwind of a night I'd had. Gosh, I'd never of thought _any_ of this could happen, and then it all came at once. Before I could dwell too long on the implications of last night, my rugged mentor peeked into the room, noticing I was awake.

"Morning, Newbie." He spoke gruffly, the traces of a good night's sleep still evident in his voice.

"Morning, Dr. Cox," I responded.

"Oh, please, Newbie, don't call me that when we're alone together. It's Perry."

"Morning, Perry." It felt weird to say, but in a good way.

"There's coffee in the kitchen," he told me dryly. Was it just morning, or is he genuinely uncomfortable? Did one mistake ruin my relationship with my mentor?

"Thanks," I mumbled, rolling out of bed and finding my boxers.

"I'm gonna get in the shower," Perry told me as I walked by him.

I got dressed and nursed my coffee as I waited for him to come back, my head rushing. He pulled me out of my reverie when he appeared from the bedroom wrapped in a towel from the waist down, steam billowing out of the room behind him, framing him like some kind of superhero or god. He grabbed some clean clothes from the laundry bin on his couch and got dressed.

"Newbie, if you want to forget all of this, we can. I won't hold it against you."

"Gosh, no! That's not what I want at all. Is that what you want?" I asked him nervously.

"I'm the one who made a move on you and brought you back to my apartment, so what do you think that means?"

"Based on my experiences with women, you're either clinically insane or plan on never calling me again. Then again, neither of us was drunk, so I'm really just stabbing in the dark here." I quipped back, and I swore I saw the shadow of a smile teasing at the corners of his mouth.

"C'mon, we've got to get ready for work."

I followed him back into the bedroom, and he tossed me my scrubs from yesterday. I could trade them in for a fresh pair once I got to the hospital, but they'd have to do for now. I looked at the clock on Perry's bedside table.

"Dr.-" he shot me a glance. "Sorry, Perry, don't you think we're going to be a little bit early?" I asked.

"Well, Amelia, I thought that maybe it wasn't the best idea for the two of us to roll up to the hospital together with all of our coworkers in sight. I know you don't have any concept of this, but I actually have some dignity to preserve."

"Right. Sorry."

"You don't have to apologize," he told me genuinely. "Let's get going."

I followed him back to his car and climbed inside. We rode in silence, aside from the acoustic channel streaming in through the radio.

"So uh, Jordan won't be home with Jack for a few more days, if you wanted to... You know..."

I get the feeling that neither of us have exactly come to terms with our sexuality yet, but I'm willing to work through that if he is. "That sounds nice, Perry" I tell him with a smile.

"We should probably lay down some name-calling ground rules. I am in bed and in the hospital. Only outside of the hospital am I Perry. Understood?"

"Yes sir. I mean Perry." I corrected myself.

"What about you?" He asked

"What do you mean?" I sputtered

"I am still going to call you any myriad of girls names within the hospital. But when we're at home I guess I could stand to let you pick."

"Well, you could call me my name."

"Which is?"

"Ha-ha, very funny Perceval."

"Watch yourself newbie, we're in the parking lot. You go in first, I'll meet you inside."

I leaned over to unclick my seatbelt, and Perry surprised me, along with himself, I think, with a kiss on the cheek. I kissed him back quickly.

"Run along now Tammy, you'll ruin your lipstick," he told me, and I headed into the hospital while Dr. Cox parked the car. I walked to my locker to get a fresh set of clothes. I made a mental note to stop at my apartment before heading back to Perry's in the evening, just to clean up and grab some fresh scrubs. I still had a bit of time before rounds, so I headed to the nurses station for a cup of coffee. I wasn't the only person at work early, however.

"Bambi, why weren't you in your apartment last night? Turk stopped by with pizza but the door was locked."

"Oh, I went to the bar last night." I lied, trying not to stutter

"Why didn't you call us?"

"It was just a last minute decision honestly. Otherwise I would have."

"Give us a call next time. There's no reason to be drinking alone," Carla advised me. "Go on and get your rounds done."

"Thanks Carla," I said as I walked off. I felt kind of bad for lying to her, but I certainly couldn't tell her the truth. Not yet anyway. I finished rounding on all of my patients before I run into Perry again.

"Newbie!" He whistles for me and I walk over to him.

"Yes ?" I ask uneasily. I hadn't realized that I was nervous, but what was our dynamic now? How was I supposed to act. He shot me a look before quieting his voice a bit.

"Are you feeling okay?" He asked me.

"Oh, yeah, yeah." I said. "Totally fine."

Cox didn't believe me at all, and I could tell, but he handed me a chart anyway. "Morgan Johnson was admitted this morning with severe abdominal cramps and dizzy spells, so far all I've done is push some morphine, but I have a full patient load, so he's yours now. Try not to kill him."

"That's the goal," I nodded as I took the chart from him and he walked away.

The brief interaction with Perry left me feeling better about the whole situation. In the hospital, he was the same, stone-cold Dr. Cox. Everything was the same, just a little bit better. I know that that doesn't really make sense, but it feels like it does.


	4. Chapter 4

Since Dr. Cox and I started our shifts at the same time today, they theoretically should have ended at the same time. However, that's not always the way things work in a hospital. Luckily, I managed to check in with Perry in the room of a coma patient, who bought us some privacy. I walked in and shut the door behind me slowly.

"Hey, Perry." I said, almost a whisper. He looked up at me, scribbling some notes in his chart.

"Why are you whispering?" He asked me.

"I.. Um... I don't know." I answered. "I'm finished for the night, so I was gonna head home and grab some clean clothes and then head over to your place," I told him.

"Okay," he said. Ah, there's the emotionless Dr Cox I met on my first day as an intern.

"I can pick up dinner, what do you want?"

"Indian food sounds good to me if that's okay with you." He said, checking the patient's vitals and comparing them with the chart.

"Perfect. I'll see you at your place in about an hour."

"See you then."

I left the hospital, waving goodbye to Carla at the nurses station when I passed. It was so weird to me, how Dr. Cox could be so passionate and loving and then so cold and sterile. I guess it didn't bother me, but I wasn't too keen on it either. I mean, I knew he was going to be the same angry, bitter Dr. Cox in front of our coworkers, but did he have to keep that façade up when we were alone? I pushed it out of my mind for the time being. I was leaving Dr. Cox at the hospital, and going back to Perry's place. I definitely preferred Perry over Cox.

I mounted my faithful scooter, letting her take me back to my place and parking her in my normal spot. I made a mental list of what I needed to grab as I bounded up the stairs "Sweatpants, t-shirt, scrubs…" I continued as I walked through my apartment, grabbing the items as I passed them and throwing them into my backpack. As I double checked to make sure I had everything, I called the Indian food place closest to Perry's apartment to place our order, hoping that Perry would beat me to his place because I don't have a key. I slung my backpack straps across my shoulders and locked the door to my apartment, returning again to my scooter so she could take me to pick up dinner.

It was a beautiful night in California, and I could see every star, or so it seemed anyway. I tried not to get distracted by the sky as I drove from the Indian food place back to Perry's. I managed to get there without crashing, by some miracle of God. I parked my scooter in a visitor's spot and headed up to Perry's apartment, knocking to request entry.

Perry swung the door open, letting me in. "Hey," he said quietly, taking the bag of food out of my hands. "Let me help you with that." He took the food to the counter as I took my backpack off and put it against a wall. I turned around to face him and he handed me a plate. "Sit and eat, we've had a long day." He told me. "D'you want something to drink?" He asked as he poured himself a scotch.

"I'm good for right now. Come sit," I urged him, placing my plate on his dining room table. He sat across from me and we ate together. We were silent at first, but neither of us thought anything of it. When you're a doctor, silence is hard to come by. You take it when you can get it. After a few moments, I saw Perry stir, and I looked up. Wordlessly, though the gesture spoke so much, he reached his arm across the table and took his hand in mine, going back to his dinner as soon as we were connected. I tried not to react because I knew Perry wouldn't want a fuss, but it made me so happy I thought my heart might just burst out of my chest. Of course, as a doctor, I know that that doesn't happen, but how else can you explain it? Surges of Epinephrine and Serotonin don't do this feeling justice. I managed to stay calm until we finished our meal and he pulled his hand away to clear our plates. I followed him into the kitchen, helping him wash the dishes and put away the leftovers. It was quiet, calm, a beautiful contrast to most of our days at work. It felt nice. After a moment, Perry tugged at my hand and quietly pulled me towards the couch. He put on the TV and threw a blanket over the two of us, and I couldn't help but think to myself "There's no place I'd rather be."


	5. Chapter 5

We woke up the next morning in bed, although I have no memory of moving there at any point in the night. I rolled over to see Perry's sleeping face, only to discover that he was already awake. He smiled at me.

"Good morning, Sheila."

"Morning doctor- ah, Perry." I mumbled back.

"Still getting used to that, huh, Mary-Jane?" he said, a hint of discomfort in his tone.

"Nah, it's just morning. Not thinking straight yet," I lied, hoping it might make him feel better.

I got the feeling that Perry felt a little bit bad about all of this. Maybe he felt like he was abusing his power or something. It's not like he didn't abuse his power within the hospital, but this was different and we both knew it. But it wasn't an abuse of power at all. I was here because I wanted to be here, not because I thought I'd get fired if I rejected him. Perry is perhaps the most prideful man I've ever met, and that blow would sting his ego, surely, but he's also a man of good integrity and definitely wouldn't have anyone fired over a personal matter like this one.

"Come on now, it's time to get up," Perry said, derailing my train of thought as he rolled out of bed.I groaned, but followed him anyway. By the time I actually managed to get up and dressed, he was in the kitchen, spreading cream cheese onto an onion bagel. "What are you going to eat?" he asked me as he poured coffee into a travel mug.

"I'm not all that hungry," I told him. "Hurts my stomach to eat in the morning."

"Good God, Penney, you are such a girl. If you pass out on a shift please know that I will never let you hear the end of it."

"Understood," I smile at his teasing.

"Are you going to ride in early with me or take your death trap?"

"I'll take my scooter."

"Mark my words, you're going to get killed in that thing one day."

"Well you'll have an eternity to give me shit about it in hell," I told him, still teasing. "You'd better go, you're going to be late."

"Oh Christ. Thanks, Newbie. I'll see you there."

"See you there," I told him.

And with that, he was gone, locking the door behind him as I don't have a key. I had just enough time to do my hair and brush my teeth before I had to leave too, grabbing the keys to my scooter before heading out the door.

* * *

The first person I saw when I walked in that morning was Elliot.

"Hey, JD!" She called to me.

"Hey, Elliot." I said back.

"Where have you been? I feel like I haven't seen you since before fellowship day! Where'd you get accepted?" She asked me.

"Well I got accepted to Mass General."

"Oh my gosh JD!" She said, her voice getting shriller with each word.

"Sh, Don't make a big deal of it," I pleaded quietly.

"Why? JD, that's an amazing opportunity. We should celebrate!"

"Elliot, I don't even know if I'm gonna take it." I admitted. She was silent for a moment.

"Why wouldn't you take it?" She asked me solemnly. "Do you know how many people would kill for a job like that?"

"I do, but I mean, I'd have to uproot my whole life, move clear across the country. I have things going for me here and I'm not sure if I want to leave that."

"JD, please promise me you'll really think about this one. I don't want you to be kicking yourself about this five or ten years down the road." She extended her finger for a pinky promise, and I accepted.

"I promise."

"Good. I have patients to round on, but i'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Okay," I nodded, smiling before I turned to do my own rounds.

While everything I had said to Elliot was true, I couldn't deny that this relationship-esque thing with Doctor Cox was the real reason I didn't want to go to Boston. But how could I? I had been waiting for something like this for years, who would abandon that right at the start? As I finished checking the vitals on a patient, Doctor Cox poked his head into the room.

"Newbie," he said, catching my attention. "Meet me in room 413 when you're done here."

"Yes Doctor Cox," I said, bringing my attention back to my patient.

"I think you'd better go," my patient, an elderly woman who had taken a fall, said to me.

"Oh yeah? Why's that?" I asked.

"That man did _not_ look like he had good news in store for you," she explained.

"Well, Ms. Johnson, you're my top priority right now. I can deal with whatever Dr. Cox needs later."

"Please, dear, call me Marie."

"Well Marie, looks like you've got a clean bill of health. Your hip is healing nicely and there's no signs of brain trauma. You should be all set to leave tomorrow morning.

"Thank you, ."

"Just doing my job. You have a good night now." I told her as I stood to leave.

"You too, dear," she told me, and I left, headed to room 413.

I was a little confused as to what Perry could possibly need me for. Rooms 400-415 were all comatose patients, and I can only imagine that there would be a higher air of emergency had one of them woken up. I swung the door open to 413 to find Perry checking the patient's vitals. He looked up at me.

"Hey, Newbie."

"Hey. You wanted to see me?" I asked nervously.

"Yeah, he affirmed, looking away from me.

A knot began to grow and churn in the pit of my stomach. I didn't know what he was about to say, but I could tell that it wasn't good.

"Jordan called this morning. She's bringing Jack home a little early. So this has been fun, but-"

"Oh, yeah. I totally understand," I said, trying to sound casual when really I thought I might puke or pass out or die, or maybe all three. "Was, uh.. was that all?" I asked. "I've got patients."

Cox looked stunned, but he answered me after a moment. "Uh, yeah. That's all."

"Great. Thank you Doctor Cox," I said quickly before running out of the room, rushing to the roof for a sense of privacy.


	6. Chapter 6

I paced around the roof, trying to clear my head. I can't believe I thought Dr. Cox was my almost-boyfriend. I should have known better. The man has a son, he doesn't have time to go on dates with kids who are barely out of Med school. It makes sense that all he would have wanted was the sex, I just can't help but kick myself for not realizing it. I pace a little while longer, willing back the tears that are pricking at the corner of my eyes, before heading back downstairs and treating the rest of my patients. In between two rooms, Carla stops me, putting her hand on my arm.

"Bambi, is everything alright?"

"I don't really want to talk about it," I said, knowing that I couldn't get a lie past Carla.

"Turk and I have the night off tonight and I gave up drinking for lent with Laverne. Do you need to get drunk?"

"Yes." I responded decisively.

"Okay, Bambi, i'll tell Turk. But I'm not holding your hair back when you puke."

"Thanks, Carla, you're the best."

"You're welcome. I'll see you later, I've got patients."

I was still upset about what had happened, but I was really grateful to have friends like Carla when shit hit the fan. After delivering some blood to the lab, I ran into Turk.

"Vanilla bear! You okay man?" He asked me.

"More or less, I'm just having a rough week I guess."

"Struggling to pick a fellowship?"

"Yeah," I lied. "How about you?"

"I mean, I got accepted to most of the places I applied to, but I'm staying here. Carla's here, our life is here, you know?"

"Yeah," I said, secretly wondering what it would feel like to know where your life "was" exactly.

"Anyway, man, I'm heading to pre-op, but i'll see you tonight!

"See you then."

The rest of the day passed by pretty uneventfully. I avoided Cox at every turn, and he seemed to be avoiding me too. How long would that last? Eventually we would need to interact again, he was my attending for goodness sake. I decided not to worry about it for right now and met Carla in the lobby.

"Just waiting for Turk to wash up," she explained to me. "Elliot's coming too, but I told her not to ask why you're upset."

"I owe you one, big time."

"Don't mention it," She said to me as Elliot and Turk walked down the hall together.

"How was the surgery baby?" Carla asked as she embraced her husband.

"Good, no complications. It was just a gastric bypass on one of Elliot's patients. Should be all set for discharge by the end of the week."

"Thanks, Turk. First round is on me," Elliot said.

"Alright, let's go then!"

Turk sprinted towards the car he and Carla shared, and I followed. The scooter would be fine in the parking lot overnight, although I like to imagine that Sasha had missed me over these past few confusing nights. Maybe she'd even let out a few tears, or a sniffle.

"JD, we're here," Elliot said, pulling me out of my reverie.

"Thanks, Elliot," I said, getting out of the car.

The smell of alcohol stung my nose as soon as I got out of the car, but three or four appletinis later, and that smell was far forgotten. Unfortunately, I couldn't say the same for my conversation with Dr. Cox that afternoon. I kept replaying it in my mind, wondering if it was something I did or if we were just too different. A warm hand on my shoulder pulled my hands away from my thoughts.

"You about ready to go Bambi? Elliot is about a cocktail and a half away from needing her stomach pumped."

"Yeah, I'm ready," I said, knocking back the rest of my appletini as I stood up.

"You'd better eat something and have a glass of water before bed if you don't want to be hurting in the morning," Carla said to me as I placed my hand on her shoulder for support. I was more than a little dizzy, but I managed to get into the car without falling over.

Carla dropped me off at my new apartment, and I drunkenly turned the key in the lock, stumbling into bed and falling asleep without causing myself further injury.

The next morning, my hangover was unparalleled to any I'd suffered in college. I rolled over and took a few advil, weighing the consequences of not going to work in my head and deciding I didn't want Cox or Kelso after me in a murderous rage. I got myself to work despite still being in an alcohol-induced fog, and by my second or third cup of coffee I started to feel more like a human being again. It was at about this time that I got a page from Doctor Cox. I was walking towards the room he paged me to when a pair of strong arms pulled me into a supply closet from out of nowhere. What did the janitor want now? I opened my eyes in shock when I wasn't greeted with any pain, but with rough, passionate lips against my own. It was Cox. What the hell? I pushed away from him and he stopped immediately.

"Newbie-"

'What are you even doing?" I asked, probably a little too loud, but I didn't care.

"What do you mean?"

"We spend a weekend together, then you break up with me, but you still want to make out with me in supply closets? God, it's like you think I have no self-respect."

"Veronica, what are you talking about? I didn't...break up with you."

"You told me you didn't want me in the house anymore because Jack was home."

"No. I told you that Jack was coming home and that the past few nights had been fun, and you filled in the gaps. If you had listened to me before you let all of that estrogen get the better of you, you'd know that I just didn't want you in the house when Jordan dropped Jack off."

"Oh," I said, feeling stupid as ever.

"Did you really think that it didn't mean anything to me? The nights we spent together."

"You're not always so easy to get a read on, emotionally, you know."

"Fair point."

We sat in silence for a moment, neither of us looking at each other. I scuffed my shoe on the ground.

"So are you going to come home tonight? My home I mean." Perry asked me.

"You want me to?"

"Of course I do." He said, reaching out his arm to squeeze my hand reassuringly.

"What about Jack?"

"As long as he doesn't see us physically in bed together, we should be fine. Hey, look at me." I looked up. "I want you to come home. Stop overthinking this."

I smiled a little, then leaning forward towards his face until our lips collided in the most peaceful way. As much as neither of us wanted this moment to end, we had been in this supply closet for what was now a suspiciously long amount of time, and the last thing we needed was someone finding us in this position, with my hands in his hair and his on my ass. Reluctantly, we broke apart. Perry smiled when he saw my face again.

"Stay in here until you've stopped blushing. I'll see you tonight."


	7. Chapter 7

I woke up the next morning in an empty bed. Perry and I had both technically had the day off, but not being on the schedule didn't always mean you wouldn't end up at work. I rolled over to make sure I didn't have any missed pages, although I doubt Perry would've let me sleep through a page if we had been called in on the same case. I didn't see anything on the pager, and decided to go into the kitchen, which was also empty.

" _Weird,"_ I think to myself as I go to make myself a pot of coffee, only to find that the pot was already full. So Perry hadn't left in a rush by any means. Before I could think any deeper about the issue, the door swung open, and Perry walked in.

"Ah, you're awake." He said, shutting the door behind him.

"Uh, yeah." I stuttered out. "Where'd you go?" I asked.

"I took my kid to school," Perry said, looking at me confused.

"Oh, right," I said, realizing that the idea hadn't even occurred to me.

"I guess that isn't really what you signed up for, huh?" Perry said, more to himself than to me, but I could tell that he was fixating on the age difference between us again.

"Hey. I just wasn't thinking straight. It's morning. I haven't had any coffee yet; do you want a cup?" I asked, trying to distract him.

"Yeah, sure," he said, sitting on the couch and running his hands through his hair. I poured his mug and loaded it with artificial sweeteners, the way he liked it, before bringing him his and making my own. "Come sit down," he urged me, patting the area on the couch next to him. I obliged, settling myself into the space against his chest before blowing the steam away from my coffee and taking a sip. Perry adjusted himself to draw me closer, putting his arm around me and running his hand through my hair, choosing one strand to absentmindedly twirl around his finger.

"Perry," I murmured, not wanting to disturb the almost pristine peace of the moment but knowing that I had to.

"Mm?" Perry answered wordlessly, turning his head to look at me.

"What are… what are we doing?" I asked. Perry's shoulders sank and the look on his face nearly broke my heart. I regretted speaking up instantly.

"What do you want us to be doing?" He asked me, his voice guttural and husky.

"Perry, I don't want to do this. Where are we going? Do we want to keep doing...this? And can we find a word for it that isn't just "this?""

"I don't want to stop this. If you need a word for it, find one. I'll call it whatever you want to call it."

"So you'll call me your boyfriend?"

"Be gentle with me," He said, shooting me a good-natured icy look.

"So you'll call this a relationship, at least?"

"Sure, but do you really want to be telling your friends about this yet? You want to tell Elliot and the Turkletons about your gay relationship with your superior?"

"Since when do you call them the Turkletons?"

"Nancy."

"I guess you're right. Telling them right now would be… messy. We should figure out who we are together first."

"That sounds like a much better compromise."

"Can I call you my boyfriend?"

"As long as I'm not around to hear it."

"I'll take it."


End file.
